The Pain That Binds

When we talk about empathy, it is nearly always in the context of pain or suffering. It isn't often that we are moved with empathy when witnessing someone else's joy or good fortune. Sure, we can definitely be happy for them, but sharing someone's joy doesn't quite create that same unspoken emotional bond that sharing someone's pain does. If we have experienced a particular, specific tragedy or trauma, it is almost as if we have entered an exclusive club with others who have gone through the same sort of suffering. We understand them and they understand us, and there is no ego or pride or one-upmanship. We don't ban anyone new from entering the club because we have been where they have been and we know how hard it was, and we are willing, even eager, to minimize their suffering or share the load in any way that we can. And when we enter the club, we have found a group of people with whom it is safe to share our burden, because we know they know how to carry it, because they've done it before. When we see someone else's good fortune, too often feelings of envy or jealousy get in the way. When it comes to good fortune, the question of whether or not the person deserves it is too often thrown into doubt. But it's not the same with pain. Deep down, when it gets almost too intense to bear, nobody feels that they deserve their pain, and when we see someone going through the same hard time that we've been through, our compassion overcomes our judgemental tendencies and we don't care if they deserved it or not because we know what that feels like and we wouldn't wish it even on our worst enemy. The empathy and compassion that comes from the pain that binds us is one of the most powerful manifestations of the Savior's Atonement. Jesus Christ has invited each of us to take up our cross. He has also invited us to take His yoke upon us. Both of these are heavy pieces of wood, neither of which are meant to be borne alone. We covenant to bear one another's burdens and mourn with those who mourn and comfort those who stand in need of comfort. When we see someone bearing their cross alone, we need to drop everything and run to them and help them bear it, and by so doing, through our compassionate service, we transform a cross into a yoke; we transform a lonely martyr into a loved and valued member of a team.