When The Cure Seems Worse Than the Pain

I don't think any of us have a problem imagining on a very visceral level that having to sacrifice our own child would be one of the hardest and most painful things we could do. But for Abraham, there are reasons why it is much, much harder then we could possibly imagine. First, Abraham had to wait a hundred years before he could see his son Isaac. Decades and decades of promises that he would be a father of many nations with nothing to show for it must have required a level of faith and patience beyond comprehension. But worse than that, he had acceded to the counsel of his wife and the Lord and demanded that Hagar take his only other son and leave, never to return. If he obeyed the Lord, he would lose both of his sons. But this is not even the worst of it. In the book of Abraham, we learn that Abraham was nearly sacrificed to a false god, and we don't know for sure, but it is possible or even likely that his own father allowed or even initiated the sacrifice. I believe that experience would have been deeply traumatic and it would have left Abraham with an unshakeable conviction that parents don't sacrifice their children to false gods. I can only imagine the levels of resentment and bitterness that would have been ingrained deep in Abraham's soul after being nearly killed on an altar and how the Lord's commandment to sacrifice his own son would have dredged all of that back up. I can't comprehend the thoughts Abraham must have had as he laid his son on the altar. How did I end up back here? Why would God make me relive this? But then an angel comes to save Abraham, just like an angel saved him from an altar of sacrifice once before. Can't you see that I have you in the palms of my hands? Do you believe me now that I will save you, and your children, and your children's children from generation to generation? I think that Abraham had been carrying a burden since that first experience with human sacrifice as a young man, and as painful as his hike up Mount Moriah was, I believe him witnessing the Lord save his son in the same way he had been saved must have finally broke through that hardness in his heart, that last resentment and fear and mistrust he had clung to all these years. Christ is the master healer. He knows precisely what we need to recover from the wounds in our soul, and if at times His cure may seem worse than the pain, I know that when we have humbly drained our cup to the dregs, the sweet relief that floods our wounded souls will be so exquisite as to make us forget the pain entirely.