An important concept in J.R.R. Tolkien’s writings on Middle Earth is “the long defeat.” The idea is that the forces of good are steadily diminishing in strength and power and that while evil may be pushed back for a time, these only represent temporary victories and will do nothing to stop the fading and dwindling of all that is fair and good in the world. This is admittedly a bit of a bleak concept but it's important to remember that Tolkien was writing about a time and place that had not yet even heard of the good news that Jesus Christ would be coming to deliver the final blow to death and evil. Sometimes though, even for those of us who have heard of and even believe in Jesus Christ, it still feels as though we are fighting the long defeat. We may enjoy small victories and bask in brief periods of peace and joy, but sooner or later we ourselves or outside forces will come along to muck things up. It is the way of things. Previously fruitful boughs begin to bring forth wild fruit or wither on the vine altogether. The oil for our lamps runs out. The wells run dry. Our patience is devoured, our peace shattered, our hope smothered, our faith cut down. Weeks or months or years of diligent effort get wiped out in a moment and we must start again, only more tired and more jaded and with fewer resources and less willpower than before. Why should we fight this long defeat at all? Why try to be good when there are so many natural urges and demons shouting down the better angels of our nature? Why put off falling off of the wagon for even ten more minutes when we know that we will only fall off all the same ten minutes later? Not a single one of us will leave this life having completely finished the work our Father has for us to do? All of us will die with songs unsung and sights unseen and acts of love and service and friendship unadministered. It is all just one big, long defeat where we put off and put off and put off the natural man and the devil and his minions but they get us in the end despite our best efforts. Or do they? A lot of us envision the repentance process as some kind of ceremonial waving of the hands that mystically banishes our guilt after we have fully rooted out the wickedness from our souls. We like to think it's cut and dry, black and white. We don't think of the purification that comes through repentance and forgiveness as an extended process that happens by degrees but a discreet on/off switch. Either we are one hundred percent clean and pure or we have at least a spot of filthiness still clinging to our souls and thus we must somehow keep scraping away at the spot until it fully disappears. But repentance has never been about winning the war so much as winning battles. Forgiveness or purification is not the awards ceremony at the end of the race where we are crowned with laurels, but rather is meted out according to our needs throughout the entire race. It's all about handing us cups of water as we run past or picking us up when we fall down or sending our sports medicine teams to wrap up and ice our sprains and get us back into the race as soon as possible. We may look back on our lives with the clarity of hindsight and see nothing but one long defeat where we had to make compromises and sacrifices and give up dreams and ambitions and loved ones before we are ready and waste time wandering down blind alleys towards dead ends and failing again and again on the same stupid tests. But all our Savior will see is that we were enduring to the end in the best way that we could. It doesn't really matter how many battles we end up losing in our long defeats because Christ already won the war. He fought the long defeat and turned it into the Long Victory. Thanks to Jesus Christ and His sacrifice, our worst defeats will work together for our good and will prove in the end absolutely essential to our long victory. This long victory is long indeed. Most of us won't get to see it fully in this life. But every time we put our trust in the Lord and win a battle, no matter how small, we get to see the smallest glimpse of that victory. I know this long victory will be more sweet and glorious than any of us have ever dared to hope or can possibly imagine. I just hope that we will leave the long victory to Christ so that we may focus on getting through the next battle.
